Facebook Etiquette
New Zealand Facebook Etiquette
You're getting the hang of online social networking but are now coming across some issues: unwanted messages, old foes and annoying quizzes, everyday something new you don't want on your homepage! Learn how to keep your cool and take control on Facebook.
The Rules of Online Social Networking
The popularity of social networking sites, such as Facebook, raises a few questions of etiquette (or ‘netiquette' as it was coined in the early days of email). Do I have to accept ‘friend requests'? Can I delete my profile? Do I have to be interested in every happening in my friends' Facebook lives, and the lives of their friends? Read on to find out how to navigate safely and politely, using appropriate Facebook etiquette.
New Worlds Open Up Online
Facebook and other online social network sites on the Web have opened up a world of possibilities unimagined by earlier generations. There are countless good things that have come out of this new phase of online interactivity - staying in touch with friends and family wherever you are in the world; locating friends from school or university; finding out more about the tastes, style, likes and dislikes of your friends (or at least what they want you to think they like); and of course, meeting new people through your network. The ‘six degrees of separation' phenomenon is alive and well here: you'll be amazed at the connections between your friends, workmates and acquaintances.
There are also some disadvantages to having your personal profile online for the world to see. As well as unflattering photographs and embarrassing wall posts, Facebook and other online social networks offer ample opportunity for invasion of privacy, unwanted attention and awkward social situations.
Facebook Etiquette Rules
Luckily, just like in the real world, there are basic rules that will allow you to navigate (politely) through the sometimes murky waters of socialising online. You can apply these guidelines to any online social networking situation - whether you're looking for love, friendship or contacts to help your business development. There are simple solutions to many sticky social situations on Facebook, MySpace or Bebo:
- Someone sends you a friend request but you don't know them
On Facebook, friend requests can easily be ignored, but if you feel rude doing this or you think you may actually know them, send a message asking where they know you from. Socialising is all about meeting people you don't know, but it's usually through someone you do know, so you can always do a background check through that friend. Remember too, once you've added someone as a friend, you can always remove them later if they become offensive or annoying.
- Someone sends you a friend request but you don't like them
One thing you'll quickly learn once you're on Facebook is that it's full of people you know (or once knew) - including the person who bullied you at school, the ex-best friend who stole your boyfriend, acquaintances from days gone by and certainly an ex-partner or two. Sometimes, these people want to be your Facebook friend (some are genuine, others are ‘friend collectors'). Either way, you‘re within your rights to ignore the friend request, and they will not know that you have not chosen to add them.
- Your profile suddenly features an embarrassing wall-post
Often this isn't intentionally done - in a moment of forgetfulness, a Facebook friend may forget that wall posts are syndicated to the news feeds of people within your social network. Thankfully, you can delete wall posts, including those written by others on your wall and those which you've penned on your friends' walls. You can also change privacy settings for your account to prevent your wall posts being published via the news feed. Remember too, you can send email messages through your inbox - this is a completely private alternative to wall posts.
- Someone invites you to take another annoying quiz
Just like annoying friend requests, these can be ignored. You can even block an application for good if you're not interested in taking a quiz to find out which Desperate Housewife you're most like or how hot you are. Adding an application means that you're giving the application's creators access to your personal profile information - once you've added an application, you can remove it, but you won't be able to take back that information. If you feel strongly about this, Facebook probably isn't the place for you.
- Someone invites you to join a political group you're opposed to joining
If you choose, you can air your political and religious views on your Facebook profile, so it's no surprise that there are also many Facebook groups with strong political or religious views. Many of these are related to overseas happenings - the US election, for instance - but you may find yourself invited to join such a group. It's possible (and quite okay) to say no if you don't want to join a group. If you want to poke fun gently, use SuperPoke to ‘throw Obama' or ‘throw Hillary' at your politically different friend.
- Someone posts a really bad photo of you
Facebook is awash with bad photos - and the worst part is, you can't stop these from being uploaded for the world to see. If you are ‘tagged' in a photograph (this means it will be accessible through your profile and will display a link to your profile underneath the photograph), you can remove the tag and/or politely ask the culprit to take the photograph off Facebook. Of course, Facebook etiquette dictates that if you post embarrassing pictures of others, you can expect the same in return.
- Someone says they heard something about you on Facebook
Generally, what happens on Facebook stays on Facebook. Don't talk about rumours and hearsay from Facebook when you're socialising in the real world; half of it probably isn't true, but more to the point, you'll alienate people in the group who aren't into online socialising and turn attention away from the real world social scene.
- Someone makes you feel unsafe on Facebook
The boundaries of privacy are down when you're socialising online, so always remember this when you're writing a post on a friend's wall, sending a ‘poke' to a friend or comparing friends. As a general rule (this can also be applied in real life situations), follow your mother's advice: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
Also remember not to embarrass others or seek revenge through Facebook - you'll surely get it back and earn a bad reputation in the process. Don't reveal too much private information on your profile - choose not to display your email, address and phone number for greater privacy. If you do find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, simply remove the offender from your friend list so they can no longer view your profile. There are many privacy settings that can be turned up for maximum security, and as a last resort, you can report them to Facebook.
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Technology images from Flickr: My Social Network, Microchip and Cable.
